Mourning Morning
by Dokuhan
Summary: -future fic- A memory leaves Roy contemplating one morning just how many things have changed in his life, what he's loved...and what he's lost. A story about life and moving on. Speedy/Aqualad
1. Devil's in the Detail

_**Warnings: Slash, character death**_

* * *

He awoke with a start, breathing heavily and clutching at the sheets of his bed. His mind felt completely scattered as he tried to regain his senses. Moments like this always left him reeling. Eyes trailing to the alarm clock he realized the it was still late in the night – or rather, really early in the morning – 3:45AM.

The outburst had managed to wake up his sleeping partner to awaken. "Roy…" the sleep heavy voice started, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing, just…that dream again."

"The one with Jericho, Batman, and the unicorns?"

"No. The other one."

"Oh…" His lover's body pressed closer to his own, face buried in his chest. "I'm not going to disappear, Roy. We bother know that, you don't need to worry. It would take an army to keep me away."

A small smile spread across his face before he leaned down a bit to plant a kiss on his partner's forehead. "You're amazing, Garth."

Garth returned the smile and pressed their lips together, "Love you too, Roy."

- o -

Once again he was awake before the alarm. Slightly fatigued green eyes remained focused on the blaring red 4:59AM. He had woken up half-an-hour before and began his stating contest with time after being unable to fall back asleep after the first fifteen minutes, preferring a sedentary position to tossing and turning. That dream, that _memory _always did this. Even after a year the hurt didn't go away and the memories didn't fade.

Roy's hand trailed to the empty side of the bed. How could he forget? _He _was impossible to fully let go of.

Oh, Garth.

The alarm clock started to buzz, signifying the time he should have woken up. It took a full minute for him to register the loud noise though before he turned it off. Climbing out of bed he started through his usual routine – shower, hair, uniform, checking the day's itinerary. He wasn't sure if he could ever get used to doing so much at five-in-the morning, but he had to deal with it – because he was a leader now. Everything had changed that day in the blink of an eye. _Speedy _didn't even exist anymore, he was _Arsenal _now.

The walk from his bedroom to the kitchen was short. As he started making coffee, Arsenal noticed the still-dirty dishes from dinner the night before. If his memory served correctly (as it always did), it had been Superboy's turn to wash them. He wasn't in any mood to try waking up the clone; he could wait until Robin came in from Gotham to handle it. So he plucked out two mugs and washed them off. His eyes trailed to the pools as he put the salt shaker next to the mugs on the table, Garth couldn't drink fresh water.

And then he remembered.

Garth wasn't here anymore.

Garth was dead.

"Shit." Damn dream. Messing with his subconscious. It was supposed to get easier. Wasn't it?

- o -

Those bastards. They found it _funny_.

He held the weakened Atlantean in his arms, trying to help him drink the salt water he had brought along with him in the plastic bottle. "Just hold on, Garth, it's going to be alright." That was a bold faced lie.

They had beaten him and kept him out of the water for almost two days. When Roy finally found him he was gasping for breath and they were laughing, taunting.

"_Aw, what's the matter _Titan_ need a little water to stand up to us?" _

"_How pathetic! He's like a beached whale!" _

"_Why aren't you flopping, _Fishy_? The water's just a few feet away!"_

Something in him managed to snap. He was able to take two of them out easily, but the third managed to grab his bow from him – breaking it with a cruel _**SNAP**_. Roy tried to fight him off with his fists, it had been before he started adding a wider selection of weapons to his repertoire, but he was well aware that he was being overpowered. Just when it seemed like it was the end and he had failed, a miracle kicked in.

With his last bit of strength, Garth managed to get on his feet and tacked the assailant. It provided enough of a distraction that Roy was able to roll away and pick up a blunt object, ignoring the fact in had some of _Garth's _blood on it. With a quick swing he was able to deliver a knock out.

Now here they were, Roy holding his obviously pained boyfriend as they waited for help. Garth shook against him, "Roy, it hurts." He lifted his hand and coughed into it. Eyes widened sadly as he saw blood in the palm. Those same violet eyes were they directed at him, tears welling inside them. "I'm not going to make it."

Roy frowned a bit and held him closer, fingers running through the ebony hair. The most he could do at that moment was be comforting. "Just hold on."

A whimper, "I love you."

"Love you, too…"

He ignored the fact that his own voice was cracking.

- o -

Arsenal took one of the mugs and poured his coffee. They had lost more than just Aqualad then. The whole time had just been Hell on Earth. The Brotherhood of Evil had managed to regroup and strengthen their numbers along with joining up with Darksied, causing an all out war. From the Titans to the Justice League of America to the Doom Patrol to The Justice Society and everywhere in between, heroes joined up to fight and weaken the enemy once and for all.

The Teen Titan's losses had probably been the hardest hit. Along with a few honorary Titans and Garth, Beastboy had been killed as well. There had been a building collapse in Star City, his body hasn't been found but they all knew nobody could survive the rubble. Dick had felt he failed as a leader and left the team after that. Last Roy had heard he had moved to Blüdhaven and started working under the alias of Nightwing. Starfire had left to join him as well.

As Titans West was completely understaffed, with just Raven and Cyborg left, Bumblebee and the twins had moved over there. They had offered Roy a spot as well, but he couldn't bear to leave – not when _this _tower held so many memories of Garth and he. So after a name change of his own, he became leader two four new Titans: Superboy, Impulse, Static, and the new Robin. They were a good group of kids, but he still missed his old team though.

The "war" hadn't lasted that long, not even four months, yet it had changed everything so much. They matured, lost allies, gained new ones – it seemed as if the past was farther away that it was. At times the future seemed hazy, so he learned to live in the present. The futures he _had _envisioned for himself always seemed to collapse so he took it as a lesson. Maybe it would be easier if he stopped thinking of the past.

Arsenal didn't flinch as he heard the hydraulic doors slide open behind him. "Morning, Virgil." he said nonchalantly, sipping his coffee.

Static, on the other hand, did jump in surprise, "How do you do that?" He tooked the second mug, _Garth's _mug, and poured his own coffee.

"Bats isn't the only detective in the caped community, Green Arrow was able to teach me a few things. Number one, Impulse makes a lot more noise when he moves around. Number two, Superboy is never up in time for training. Number three, Robin hasn't arrived yet. So _obviously _it had to be you."

"Man, I'll never get this detective stuff down. Richie even has more of a hang of it than I do, no clue why he won't join the team."

"Well I've been doing this since I was about ten and Gear's a super genius. Besides unlike the both of you, I don't have powers, I _need _to rely on my wit."

"What wit?" Impulse's voice questioned as he ran into the kitchen. He snatched the doughnut Static had just taken out of the case on the counter.

"Hey!"

Impulse just grinned as he hopped up on the counter himself, legs swinging back and forth. "Tim just came in, he went to go drag Kon out of bed."

Arsenal just nodded as he finished the rest of his coffee. This was the normal Saturday morning routine, the only day all of them could train together easily – what with Batman's possessiveness and Static's obligations in Dakota. Summer was on the horizon though and that freed up some time. He stood up and placed his mug back in the sink, "Maybe while he's at it, Tim can get Kon to wash these."

- o -

It had been a long day. Roy's whole body ached as he fell back on his bed, kicking off his boots. His memory-dream had also been at the forefront of his mind all day. It had managed to throw his emotional spectrum off kilter and make him feel unlike himself. Sometimes he just wanted to forget completely, if only to move on in his life. But then he would kick himself for thinking that way – even if they seemed like a curse the memories were a gift.

He wasn't really sure how long he lay there, staring at the all too familiar ceiling. It was becoming quite obvious that sleep wasn't going to come easily that night. He rolled onto his side and opened the top drawer of his nightstand, lifting up the cover of the shoebox inside. A quick sift through the loose photographs helped produce the one he was looking for. It was one of those spur of the moment pictures, the kind you take with your arm outstretched and hoped was perfectly centered.

- o -

"Garth, close your eyes."

"I'm not falling for that trick again."

"C'mon don't be such a wimp, I'm not going to do anything!"

"I swear if you try someth-mmph!"

_Beep, beep. __**SNAP!  
**_

- o -

Roy snickered a bit at the memory that came with the somewhat haphazard picture of him and Garth kissing. It had been about two months before they came out to their teammates and a little over a year after they started dating. Sometimes he wondered how they managed to last, especially when they kept it a secret for so long.

Love could be a strange thing.

"You're really something, aren't you Garth?" he said sullenly, but with a hint of happiness. He placed the picture back in the box, he sometimes contemplated framing a few of them but decided against it since his _new _team didn't know much of his past. Resting his head back on the pillow, he closed his eyes and hoped for sweeter dreams than the night before.

He didn't need to spend another morning mourning.

* * *

Dear gracious Goddess and God don't kill me! D: -hides behind arms- I'm sorry but I had to kill of Aqualad and Beastboy!

….well not really Beastboy…BUT STILL!

Anyway, dependent on how the next part goes this is going to be somewhere between two to four chapters. It's a little sadder than I'm used to writing, but I think I can make it work. And if it makes you feel better, think about it like this – Garth's death could be symbolizing his death in Blackest Night (DC, please bring him back!) and Beastboy's the whole thing going on in Rise and Fall (Lian! Roy! ;-;) And don't question me about why I brought in some Young Justice and Static loving to the Titans…let me be a happy geek.

But, nonetheless. I'm writing out the rough draft to the next part so hopefully with my Spring Break I can get that pumped out. Hopefully I can get you all to stay! And I know Roy seems a little OOC here, but you do have to consider that if you had a dream like that you're going to be reacting a little different the next morning.

By the way, this is kind of based off the song Mourning Morning by Just Jack. Go listen! Now!


	2. A Strange Surprise, What I Dispise

_**Ring, ring**__.  
_

_It's his personal line. Roy Harper's phone, not Arsenal's. _

_He flips it open._

"_Hello?" _

_**A pause**__. _

_"Dick? What's wrong?" _

_A concerned look washes over his face. _

"_I don't know if I could leave the team for that long. I could send back Tim if you need me to, why don't you ask Bruce?" _

_He sits up straight and puts down his book. _

"_What do you mean this can't involve Batman? Dick, what's wrong? It has to be something serious if you're using the personal line." _

_He chews his bottom lip, not used hearing his former leader's voice being filled with so much apprehension._

"_Alright, I'll leave tomorrow morning. See you then." _

_He hangs up before leaving his seat. _

- o -

Meanwhile in Blüdhaven, a knowing look crossed Dick's face. If there's one thing a circus will teach you besides how to fly without wings, it's showmanship.

- o -

"…and if you run into any trouble, make sure you get me on my communicator. Even if I can't make it I can get someone to back you up. Titans West and Titans South are available too."

Robin rolled his eyes a bit, not that you could tell under the domino mask, as he listened to his team leader. "Arsenal, you don't need to worry. The four of us have enough experience to handle things while you're in Blüdhaven, and even if we did run into any problems, we _know _to call you."

Arsenal's expression did not look very reassured as he sat on his motorcycle, unconsciously tossing the helmet from hand-to-hand. Normally he wouldn't leave his team to fend for themselves, but Nightwing had asked for help on a case he and Starfire were handling – something that couldn't involve Batman apparently. Even if Dick and Kory weren't Titans anymore, they were still his friends and he had to worry about them. It was a tough decision--but he knew what he had to do.

He wasn't even sure why he was so worried, Tim had never failed him as second in command before and they were all very experienced. Static had been (and still was) the guardian of Dakota before joining and Robin, Superboy, and Impulse were once the founding members of a small group called Young Justice. They all knew what they were doing, so their really was no need to fret, right?

Maybe he just didn't want to lose anybody else…

He quickly pushed those thoughts out of his mind and put on his helmet. "Just making sure. I should be back by the end of the week the latest, make sure the Tower's still standing, and not on fire." With that, he rode out and let the garage door close behind him."

And an evil smirk spread across Robin's face.

- o -

"I don't know how I feel about this. I mean sneaking into his room?" Static pulled a facr as he leaned against the wall, watching Robin fiddle with the keypad to open the door, "Seems sneaky. More like something Superboy or Impulse would do instead of you."

"The Bat Family is full of surprises, you'll never know what comes do next." Robin smirked as Aresenal's door slid open, "Just as you'll be surprised to find out our leaders trip is actually part of a master plan concocted by a pair of Robins."

"You're kidding me! You and Dick planned all of this? What's next, you're going to tell me you've turned to super-villainy? That Superman is planning to take over the world? That the time I caught Impulse in a dress was what it looked like?" He laughed a bit at Robin's scowl before following the caped sidekick into the room, "I'm kidding, chill Batboy."

"It'll be a year since he started leading us."

That offhanded comment threw Static off. He gave a questionable look, prompting Robin to continue.

"At the end of the week it will be a year some the Titans reorganized and we joined Titans East."

Now he remembered. After a four month war – even though the word seemed far from strong enough to describe the events – almost every organization had been a complete mess. The Justice League and Justice Society had managed to pick things up in no time and the others looked like they could handle things on their own, but the Teen Titans were practically in shambles due to heavy losses (by way of death or members joining other groups). Dick quitting was another big factor. But they kept looking forward and within a month the surviving members had managed to pull things together, as well as bring in the smaller group (Young Justice) and solo heroes like himself. There were a few name changes along the way, including the dropping of "Teen" from Titans as a sign that while they were still young, most of them had grown up. It really didn't seem that long ago.

Static arched an eyebrow at his teammate, "What does sneaking into Arsenal's room and sending him out of town have to do with that though?"

"We can't very well figure out what kind of gift to give him if we have to sneak around while he's here." Tim grinned a bit, as he walked over to the other side of the room. "Besides, he's been kind of down lately. Dick's good at pulling people out of funks."

"…Are we thinking about the same Nightwing?"

- o -

After about an hour of looking through Roy's room it seemed like the search for any idea was fruitless. Surely if there was anything to be found they would have done so, right? Robin was half-heartedly looking through a bookshelf, while Static walked towards the nightstand. His eyebrows rose when he found a worn box upon opening the top drawer. Natural curiosity got the better of him as he pulled the box out and removed the top. He grinned at they myriad of photos inside, "Hey, Tim! I think I found something we could use." He sat down on the bed and put the box between them, "Maybe they're from the first Titans East or from when he worked with Green Arrow."

Tim plucked a few photos from the box and flipped through them. His mask moved with his eyebrows. "Or they could be something else entirely." He passed them to Virgil before taking the box and putting his on his lap, as there were still plenty of pictures to look through.

Virgil looked through the photos himself before letting out an embarrassed cough. "I didn't know he and Aqualad were…close."

"More that close from what I'm seeing, it looks like they were together for a while."

"Wasn't Roy the one who found Aqualad before he…?" The teen frowned at Tim's nodd, "I'm surprised he didn't kill any of them." He gave a closer look at one of the photos in his hand. It was of the two of them sitting with Starfire and Nightwing – back in his Robin days – in what looked like the old West Tower. They were all wearing civvies and looked so genuinely _happy_, he couldn't help but feel a little saddened by the fact that that happiness was long gone. "I don't understand why he didn't tell us about it though, it's not like we would have been weirded out by it or anything. I mean, pretty much everybody knows about me and Richie and you three don't make much of an effort to stop rumors about Young Justice."

The younger teen was quick to shake off the embarrassed look on his face before speaking, "Whatever reason he has, it's probably a good one. Maybe this is just his way of coping, we both know how much it hurts to lose someone." At the bottom of the box and found a flash drive, he pulled it out and thought for a second. "And I think I may know what kind of gift we could give him."

Tim put the flash drive and one of the photos in his utility belt before putting the box back in the nightstand. After making a quick sweep of the room to make sure everything was in place he and Virgil made a quick exist.

* * *

Nnngh. Sorry this took forever, I was having such a hard time figuring out how to begin and end this chapter. I hate where I ended it, but everything else would have seemed way too forced, hell probably the beginning I added to give it a little bit more content seems forced out. This is one of the reasons I tend to stray from chapter stories. Oh, and I don't know what happened to my dividers last chapter, hopefully it's been fixed.

Chapter three will hopefully be out faster, it's a lot more angsty/introspective and I like the idea a little better. Again though it's mostly a starting issue. We're gonna find out why Roy hides the pictures and doesn't say much about Garth though. And if I can plan it out there may be a sequel in the works.

And yes, I did reference Virgil/Richie and Kon/Tim/Bart – OTP and OT3, baby.

A lot of inspiration for this story is coming from the DCU…y'know, with all the Roy angst (for different reasons) and the whole Tempest dying thing. Yeah. Not fun.

Chapter inspired by: Melancholia by The Who. Go listen to it. Because it's The motherfucking Who.

Please review?


	3. Please Don't Blame Me For Trying

**WARNING: This chapter contains mentioning of a previous, consensual relationship between an adult and minor D: if you are squicked out or triggered by this, I am very sorry!**

* * *

"You're really living up to your namesake right now, you know that, right? You're a filthy, dirty liar. Batman would be ashamed of you and your 'little brother' if he knew about this. I have half a mind to call him up right now."

Dick just rolled his eyes as he sat next to his disgruntled friend on the well-worn couch. Okay, he had to admit that they hadn't been _completely _honest on the circumstances that brought Roy to his small apartment, but it had been a good idea at the time and it got the job done. "Well, would you have come over if I said 'hey, you need a break, come over and watch bad television'?"

"I have a team to lead, _Nightwing_, you remember what that's like, don't you? How big of a deal that used to be for _you_? The responsibility? Or have you turned into a hypocrite since you left?"

"Tim's more that capable of handling things for a couple of days, he _is_ a Robin after all. Besides, at the rate you've been going you are going to burn out sometime soon and what good will you be to your team then?"

Before the red-head could retort, Kory walked into the room in her rather skimpy costume. She moved towards them and placed a kiss on Dick's cheek. "I am heading off to patrol now, Dick," she said softly, "I will be home again in a few hours."

The young man smiled before pressing their lips together. His smile turned into a grin as they pulled away, "Stay safe."

Roy couldn't help but feel something tug a little at his heart as the lovers gave each other fleeting looks before Kory floated out of the open window. He guessed that was to be expected, it would probably always hurt at least a little bit. That hurt must have somehow managed to cross across his face though, because before he knew it, Dick was staring right at him. "What are you looking at?"

"You miss Garth."

"Well no _shit _I miss Garth. Hell, if Kory died you would miss her too, wouldn't you?" Roy huffed a bit and crossed his arms, slightly scowling. A few seconds passed before he let out a defeated sigh, what was he doing? There was no point in getting mad at one of his friends over this. "I'm sorry. It's just…it still hurts a lot, alright? It's different than when you guys lost Gar. You didn't see him die in front of you, you didn't see him suffer, you weren't _responsible _for his death."

"Neither were you! You did your best to save him, Roy, he knew that."

"No…I could have…" Roy's shoulders slouched a little. "Just…just forget it."

A little over a half-hour passed in a less-than-comfortable silence. Some talking head on the television blathered on and on about some kind of conspiracy theory on the first channel they landed on. Public Access, they'll give airtime to just about anybody. Dick considered changing the channel, but the remote was nowhere to be found and he couldn't really find the motivation to get up to do it himself. He debated trying to start up some kind of conversation with his friend, a lighter topic than the one they started on, but was unsure of what to say. He was slightly surprised to hear a light chuckle next to him.

"You know, I can't help sometimes think how funny it is." Roy smirked at Dick's arched eyebrow, "Everyone thought you and Kory were the first Titan couple to get together, but the looks on all of your faces when you found out that Garth and I had already been together for more than a year – it was just so funny." He laughed a bit more.

The raven-haired teenager couldn't help but smile at that as well. They all had been surprised with that revelation, of course it had quickly turned to amusement when they found out _how _exactly Karen had found out about their relationship. "Well it's not like we could have expected it, the way you two were always at each other's throats."

"We were always going at each other in other ways too."

"Wow. That's…more information than I wanted to know."

"Now you know how some of us felt when you told us the relationship _you_ used to have with Daddy-Bats."

Dick turned a little red at that, more out of embarrassment than anything else. Part of what had prompted him to take up the title of Nightwing and move closer to Gotham had been Batman's near death experience during the "war". In the panic, he had accidentally let it out to his remaining team, Roy, and Karen that the two of them had been lovers before the formation of the Teen Titans. Feelings had been kind of awkward between the five of them and their leader for a little while, but it had to be forgotten with the task at hand. By the time they would have had time to think about it, they had already decided it was none of their business and Dick had left the title of Robin.

"Relax, Boy Wonder, you know none of us have a problem with it. It was just a little bit surprising."

"I hadn't really planned on telling anybody, I'm not sure if Tim even knows," Dick muttered, tapping his fingers on the arm of the couch.

"What's done is done, if you don't want to tell him that's your business."

"I guess…"

The silence that followed wasn't as stressed. Somehow Dick had imagined this conversation as being a little easier than it was turning out to be. That was kind of a ridiculous notion though, because he wasn't even sure what this conversation was supposed to be about. He had gone into it thinking things would just kind of fall into place and maybe in the end, Roy would feel a little bit better than he had been in the past year. Even if they detested being so similar, he thought that maybe it would be a benefit just this one time. They both knew loss – parents, childhoods, innocence – but at this moment it seemed like his friend had lost a lot more than him. Because the man he had looked to as both a lover and a father was still here, as was the girl that currently owned a large piece of his heart.

But Roy had lost that large piece. In three years of being together, Garth had become part of Roy just as surely as Roy had been part of Garth. Maybe if he had lost Bruce, whom he had been with for _twice _as long, he would have a better understanding of how one of his closest friends – no, his _brother_ – was feeling. And that made Dick feel useless, something he didn't like.

"He was changing you know."

That caught Dick's attention. For someone who originally didn't want to talk, Roy was certainly the best at restarting the conversation. "What do you mean by 'changing'?"

"It's…complicated. It has to do with a lot of his past, y'know, the whole 'banished prince of Atlantis' thing. You don't really know much about that though. Then again, neither did he until Aquaman finally told him."

"Spit it out, Harper, you're rambling."

"I'm getting to it, jeez." Roy rolled his eyes and sat up straight, "He was developing new powers, Dick. And not just water based ones, I'm talking magical ones. If I hadn't seen them myself, I would have thought he was fucking with me."

"Are you serious? Did anybody else know?" Dick's face grew serious as his friend shook his head. "Why didn't either of you say anything?"

"He didn't want it getting out, not until he had the proper training to control and harness it. But then everything happened so he decided to push it back and then he was captured and then he was just gone. Dick, it _is _my fault."

"I don't see how-"

"You remember how nobody could understand what started Garth's internal bleeding or the strange abrasions on Rancid's body? I should have said something then, but I know…"

- o -

"You really thought this could stop me?" Johnny Rancid laughed cruelly as he snapped Speedy's bow in half, "Some cheap toy?" He threw a punch at the archer, who just managed to block it.

The two of them continued to exchange blows, but Rancid, being the larger of the two, was proving to be stronger than Speedy originally thought. He was doing a pretty okay job of holding him back _now_, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold the villain back. Plus he needed to get Garth to the water or someplace safe before it was too late.

A soft groan came from out of his line of vision. "Speedy…" the voice coughed out.

He only had a quick glimpse of Aqualad pulling himself up. "You idiot! Stay do-!" He was cut off by a fist to the face. Before he could retaliate, Garth was running towards the both of them and jumped on top of Rancid.

Even after everything he had gone through, Aqualad was _still _a lot more powerful than the man. He let out a growl as he held the man's wrists down, his dark eyes starting to glow purple. No. He couldn't be. He swore he wasn't going to try that, not yet. He only had the most basic understanding of those abilities. Before Speedy could say anything, the energy shot out of his teammate's eyes. It was just enough to injure his attacker, but not cause a huge amount of damage. It was enough though to use up the last bit of Aqualad's energy as the Atlantean's grip loosened and he fell to the side.

Johnny Rancid snarled in pain as he pulled himself up, "You _bastard_. You'll pay for that."

Speedy reacted instinctively at that moment. He grabbed a large piece of wood that was lying on the ground and only had a second to flinch at seeing his boyfriend's blood on the object before pulling back and swinging it against the attacker's head.

- o -

"Don't you get it?" Roy looked half-hysterical at that moment, his shoulders shaking slightly and his breath short, "If I had just been a better fighter, if I had just stopped him before he used his powers, if I had just done _anything _right, Garth would still be here. It's _my _fault he died – I was supposed to save him and I wound up killing him!"

Dick sat there for a moment, letting the whole story run through his head. He looked at his friend and took a deep breath. "Roy…you're an idiot." He continued speaking just as the red-head opened his mouth. "Probably not the best thing to say, but it's what got your attention. You didn't kill Garth, it _wasn't_ your fault. Garth knew the risks, he knew something could happen to him if he used his new powers without the proper training." He gave a well earned Bat-Glare when Roy tried to interrupt him. "But he still did it, because he _loved _you. He didn't want to see you die for him when he could have had a shot at protecting you, just like _you_ didn't want to see _him _die when you had a chance to protect him. Garth cared about you so much that he was willing to put his life on the line just as you were doing for him. He died _doing_ something that he loved while _protecting someone _that he loved even more."

"I still could have done something though. Convinced him to go through with his training before joining us, started using more than just a bow sooner, made sure he wasn't alone long enough to be kidnapped in the _first place_!"

"We can live our whole lives saying 'we should have done this' or 'I could have done that', but it's still not going to change things." He placed a hand on Roy's shoulder, blue eyes meeting green. "You and he had almost four years together and you made a lot of memories. Wouldn't he want you to move forward and remember his life, those memories, instead of holding back and focusing on that one moment in time?"

Roy's breathing slowed down and his eyes glazed over a bit. They had been happy together, they had made something special. Through arguments about fish tacos and moments of understanding to stupid nicknames and the nights they spent together. He loved Garth more than he had loved someone before, so why did he isolate him to a final moment and a shoebox of pictures? He really was an idiot.

His eyes focused back on Dick as he spoke, his voice soft and raw, "I still miss him, Dick. I'm not sure if I'll ever really get past it."

"Only time will tell, Roy."

* * *

That's right, bitches! I gave Garth Tempest powers! OHHHHH SHIT.

Haha, yeah I'm lame. Anyway, I'm sorry this chapter was so, so late. From the moment I last updated to around the end of May I was busy tying up things with school and taking my final exams, and then the whole first week of June I had graduation and prom shit. So yes, congratulate me – I'm a high school graduate. The whole second week of June I had family here and the rest…well account that to me being a lazy butt.

But! I skipped over the rough draft stage for you guys! Maybe I'll do that for the next chapter since it is the _last one_. It's bound to be a lot more light hearted than this though, and we're gonna find out what the boys made Arsenal 8D

This chapter was inspired by the Maria Mena song Miss You Love. Again, another great song you need to listen to – such an underrated artist here in the States.

In other news though, how many of you have heard about the new Aqualad? I hope this doesn't mean Tempest is never coming back! I guess I'll have to keep reading Brightest Day in order to see. If all else fails, I'll get a job at DC comics and have Garth walk out of a bathroom! Oh, and what about Arsenal becoming an antihero? I say about two years until the retcon?

Thanks for reading (: please read and review and I hope to see you soon!

P.S.: Thank you so, so, so, so much to nikki-kun05 for being my beta. Nikki, I love you with all my heart and offer you my first born child!


	4. The Smiling Face I Loved

He was someplace warm – warm and soft. The smell of sea-salt clung in the air and he could feel the sand under his fingertips. It was peaceful, something his dreams hadn't been for the longest time. His eyes slid open and he sat up slowly, finding a vast ocean not too far in front of him.

Roy wasn't exactly sure where he was, the beach looked completely unfamiliar – not like the one near the Titans East Tower or some place he might have been at one point in the past. There wasn't any way to tell where he was either. Everywhere he looked, he saw nothing but sand, water, and a few rocks. There was no boardwalk or docks or even lights from a building in the distance. He was alone in a sprawling nowhere and yet he felt amazingly calm despite the fact he was lost here.

From the remoteness came a soft, melodic hum. Roy _knew _where it was coming from. His mind just kept working on auto-pilot as he stood up and started walking towards a formation of rocks. The closer he got. The louder the humming became; and as he started to climb over the slippery rocks, the night sky became a light orange-pink with oncoming daylight.

The humming just seemed so comfortingly familiar, it was incredible. That tone, that softness. It couldn't be. It just _couldn't_.

And sure enough, it was. As Roy made it over another rock, his eyes widened in disbelief – all because he saw _him_.

Garth was sitting on the edge of one of the rocks, his feet dangling in the water as he watched the sun rise and quietly continued to hum. It was just such a gorgeous sight to see.

Roy quietly crept behind the Atlantean. If he could just reach out and touch him…maybe this could be _real._ "Garth…?" he only just croaked out, his hand reaching out and just barely brushing his shoulder.

Garth stopped in that moment. He turned back to look at his lover, a reassuring smirk gracing his face.

Roy slid down onto his knees, his hand reaching all of the way to touch Garth's face. He smiled as the other pressed back into his touch. They leaned in towards each other.

So close.

So very close.

Please, oh God, _please. _

_Please be __**real**_.

- o -

Roy's eyes shot open against his will. He sat right up, breathing heavily and blinking rapidly.

He was on the couch in Dick's living room, the beach and rocks were long gone. The sound of calm waves was replaced by the cacophonous early morning traffic of Blüdhaven. And Roy was alone. All alone again.

Garth was still gone. Garth was still _dead_. Garth _wasn't_ going to come back.

Roy looked at his hand. It had all felt so real though.

"No…" he muttered, voice crackling slightly.

Why couldn't it have been real? Why did life have to keep throwing punches at him? Orphan, addicted, abandoned, hardened, alone – innocence and joy lost so young in so many different ways. Why wasn't it possible for him to have a long, lasting happiness?

"No." The corners of his eyes started to sting and the lump in his throat grew more painful with each passing second. No matter how hard he swallowed it just wouldn't go down.

They didn't have enough time together! It was _never _going to be enough time. He and Garth loved each other so fucking much! Why couldn't they be happy? Why couldn't they be happy together? Why not just this once could things be okay and stay that way?

"No, _no_, _**no**_!" His legs curled up and his knees pressed against his chest. His arms covered his head as he viciously shook it. How many more mornings like this could he take before he finally snapped?

And for the first time, since the day Garth died in his arms, Roy cried.

- o -

"You think he'll like it? I mean, didn't Nightwing say that talking about him was still a sore spot?"

"Of course he will, besides, there are also pictures of Bumblebee and the twins along with Green Arrow, Titans West, and us! One part of it just happens to be largely composed of him and one other person is all."

"He better like it after all the cutting and pasting we did."

"It wasn't that bad, Kon. I don't think we have anything to worry about, guys. Just trust me on this."

- o -

The kitchen remained quiet throughout most of the morning. A slight tension remained between Roy, Dick, and Kory, having started when the couple heard their friend's soft sobs from their bedroom. The both of them had held back, unsure of what to say or do to ease their friend's pain, and found themselves in the exact same situation here. So instead of having a nice, friendly conversation, Dick was fiddling with his coffee cup and Kory was thoroughly chewing her toast while Roy pushed around the eggs on his plate with his fork.

Kory swallowed and placed her toast back on the plate. She cleared her throat a little and gave a tentative smile, "So Roy, how have things been with Titans East. Tim has told us many great things about how you have led the team." It was better to make small talk then to sit in there in silence.

Roy looked up at her and returned the smile. "It's been alright. Took a while to adjust to different positions, but everything's working out just fine. Tim's pretty sharp, Bats made a good choice for a Robin."

Dick laughed a bit and took a sip of his coffee. "What choice? Tim was the one who decided to take the mantle. Bruce was kind of reluctant to find somebody else after…well, after everything that happened with Jason."

Roy nodded a bit. None of the Titans had really had a chance to meet Jason, he had been Batman's Robin in Gotham while Dick was with the Titans. He had been killed less than a year later though, how though was a BatFamily secret. Dick was pretty convinced though that the person who had stolen his Red X costume was Jason, but he couldn't really find any explanation for a resurrection so the issue was never really looked into.

Despite the slight downturn, conversation between the three continued easily. Breakfast was quickly finished and the kitchen was cleaned without a lick of awkward silence. Things gelled among them easier than they had in months, ever since two of them moved on to other things and one stayed on the path that he found the best. Before any of them knew it though, it was time for Roy Harper to leave and Arsenal to return to Titans East.

They stood in an alleyway outside of the apartment building, Arsenal perched on his motorcycle and mask firmly in place. Dick carefully looked out to make sure no one was watching as Kory bid her good-byes, throwing her arms around their friend's neck in a hug. "Drive safely, Arsenal. I hope that it will not be as long before we see you next time."

Arsenal laughed a little as he hugged back, "Don't worry, I'll make sure to not be as anti-social and show up once in a while. You and Birdboy over there have to do the same thing though. Bee's told me that Raven and Cyborg have been wondering about you two for a while."

Kory smiled as she pulled away and changed places with her boyfriend, knowing the two would want a moment to themselves. In the back of her mind, she contemplated visiting their other friends at some point.

Dick's eyes met the white out lenses of Arsenal's mask. Something about this just felt so weird, not final per say, but almost as if a new chapter of life was beginning for the both of them. He swallowed uncomfortably, "So…"

"So…?"

"I'm really glad you didn't just leave after you found out we tricked you. I missed talking to you, I mean sure you can be a bit of a jerk and you did pretty much copy me at first-"

"Do we really have to get into this now?"

A laugh. "The point is, I don't want to have to jump through hoops just to talk to you again, if I wanted to do that I'd join the circus again. You're like a brother to me, Roy; I mean that. You can be an ass like your 'father figure' and I can be a bit of an antisocial prick like mine, but you always seem to pull through whenever you're needed. So all I can really say is…thanks." He smiled a bit and clapped his hand on Arsenal's shoulder. "So, when's the next time you're meeting up with Titans West? Maybe we'll pop by for a visit, and embarrass Tim while we're at it."

Arsenal scoffed a bit and rolled his eyes behind the mask, "Like he'll let you do that, but I'll be sure to let you know. Speaking of our new Boy Wonder though, maybe you should think about telling him about…y'know. Better he finds out from you before he figures it out himself, right?"

"Maybe you're right. Bruce is the one I have to worry about though." He quickly looked at his watch, speaking of Bruce, they had to meet him in less than an hour. Leave it to old dark and batty to try and keep him on a tight leash. "I'm sorry I have to cut this short but-"

"It's fine, I've seen Batman irritated. You've really helped me out though. You helped me realize I may not be ready to get past Garth's death, I probably won't ever be, but…" he put his helmet on his head and started his bike, "at least I'm ready to start hurting a little less."

And with that, Arsenal sped down the alleyway and turned onto the street, briefly waving to his friends behind him.

- o -

It was late twilight by the time Arsenal made it back it back to Steel City and mostly dark by the time he made it to the East Tower. It was quiet, too quiet, and all it did was give him a sinking feeling as a million scenarios played in his head. Robin finally snapped and became a super villain; Superboy left an empty milk carton in the fridge, so Static killed him in a fit of rage and somehow it turned into a mass murder-suicide; all four of them got caught up in a massive orgy…wait, no…that would have been louder.

The lights were still on, that was a good sign. And at least they'd managed not to burn the whole building to the ground. You have to count your blessings where you can find them. He got off his bike and put the helmet on the seat before pulling out a comb to fix his helmet-hair. He placed the comb back in his pocket as we walked up the stairs from the garage to the Tower, dreading whatever horrible scene he was going to walk in on.

There was no blood in the hallway, so that disproved about half of the theories running in his mind. No signs of a struggle at all, so nobody had tried to break in and none of the boys got into any spats. He opened the door to the common room.

Superboy and Static were playing some kind of video game on the big screen. Impulse's head was shoved in the refrigerator, probably devouring whatever food they had left. Robin was sitting on the opposite end of the couch his teammates were using, feet on the coffee table and typing away at something on his laptop. None of them had seemed to be aware of their leader's return.

Arsenal cleared his throat and waited a little while before doing so again, only a little louder. The game paused, typing ceased, and raiding ended. All four turned to look at him. Wow, being a leader really did get all of the attention. "Anything happen while I was gone?"

Robin shrugged and turned back to his laptop, "There was a small run-in with Gizmo earlier this morning, but nothing we couldn't handle. Oh, and BumbleBee called wanting to talk to you, but when we told her you were out she said she'd call back tomorrow." He went right back to typing. "Otherwise, no, nothing happened."

Well that was confusing. Arsenal arched an eyebrow, "Probably means someone's planning something big. Keep and eye out."

"Got it."

Without another word, the four teenagers were back to doing whatever they had been before Arsenal came in. Not even a "hello", "how're you doing?", or anything. Pft. Kids.

…

_Okay, wow. Way to sound old, Harper. Where's your walker?_, his mind chided. He rubbed his forehead and walked out of the room. He was only twenty, still kind of a kid himself after all. He walked down the hallway once again and into his bedroom, tossing the keys to his bike on the desk. Something caught the corner of his vision though, sitting on his bed.

One of his eyebrows arched and he walked towards it. The object was some strange book, it had two pictures of the East Tower side by side on the cover: one from before and the current design. Laying on top of the book, though, was a folded piece of paper with his codename written neatly on it. He picked it up and opened it up.

"_Arsenal – _

_To a year of Titans East and a leader we couldn't be luckier to have. _

– _Impulse, Robin, Static, and Superboy_

_P.S.: Don't worry, the originals are right where you left them."_

Originals? What were they talking about? Arsenal picked up the book and sat on the bed before placing it in his lap. He lifted the cover and his eyes widened behind the mask. Oh. _This _is what they meant.

The first page was pretty simple, it was mostly empty and the scanned pictures still managed to look wrinkled and word. His mom, a woman he never really knew, holding him as a baby. His dad standing proud in his park ranger uniform with two-year-old Roy, Jr. on his shoulders. Him and Brave Bow not too long after that.

The next few pages seemed to be mostly dominated by him and Ollie, with Dinah at sporadic moments, both in and out of costume. There were some of old friends, ones long since gone or ones he left behind on a single page (they never really took that many pictures). Then came the Titans, both new and old, with the ones from both Easts taking up a better part of the section. Arsenal had to admit, the whole thing was really impressive and it had probably taken the boys quite some time to put together.

And then he turned the page. The scrapbook almost fell out of his hands.

It was him and Garth, together. The pictures he kept hidden away in the shoebox in his nightstand. He continued to flip through the pages, they _filled _the rest of the book. God, he didn't even realize he _had _so many. It was actually kind of scary.

He felt something inside his chest tighten. It didn't feel entirely bad though. He couldn't really describe what he was feeling to be honest – it was sad sure, but at the same time he just felt so happy. Like some weight he never really noticed was lifted off of his shoulders. Maybe it's because Garth _wasn't _trapped to just that small space now.

Arsenal looked up as he heard his door slide open. The boys were standing outside, looking in warily. Static was the first to speak up, "Is it safe to come in?"

Arsenal smirked, "Why wouldn't it be?" He had to resist the urge to snicker when they all breathed a sigh of relief. "So, this is why you had to get me out of the Tower, huh?"

Robin walked a little closer, pulling the flash drive out of his utility belt to hand it over. "We had to do a little sneaking around, as well as a few calls to Green Arrow and BumbleBee."

"Bee was always a nut about taking pictures of the team together. Green Arrow on the other hand, now that's surprising."

Impulse grinned, "I think we can thank Black Canary for that." In an instant he was next to Arsenal, looking over his shoulder at the book. "You're not mad though, right? I mean they were hidden for a reason, right?"

He thought about it for a second before shaking his head, "Nah. I probably would have done something with them soon anyway and at least you kept the original ones where they are." He turned the page and saw some of the last few pictures the two of them had taken together. When things had been mostly quiet and there was no sign of what was going to turn their lives upside down. A thought crossed his mind and laughed a bit.

It was different than some of their earlier ones had been. He and Garth were older for starters, about 18 if he was correct. Roy was starting to grow his goatee and Garth's hair was shorter than it had been, the result of assisting the fire department during a fire.

_Speedy and Aqualad sat on the curb, in front of the burned out building they had helped to save the tenants from. Luckily the fire hadn't spread to any of the neighboring ones, but there was still a little bit of guilt that now these people had no where else to go. It was a very low class area and they had lost everything. _

_Right now though, the team had to worry about each other. Make sure they were alright before helping anymore – if helping was even still possible at this point. Karen was checking on the twins, the two of them were helping each other. _

_Roy ran a hand through Garth's hair, frowning a little when he saw the ends. "You're hair's pretty singed, but you're fine for the most part." _

_Garth grinned a little and just shrugged, "I was planning on cutting it anyway. So now I've got a good excuse for a change of my own." _

Arsenal was a little surprised that he remembered that, in fact, these pictures were sparking a lot of old memories. Had he really forgotten that much about the time the two of them were together? Had he been shutting out more than Garth's image this past year?

Well no more. This was going to change.

Arsenal closed the book and looked up at his team, "You know, Aqualad probably would have liked all of you. Then again, I don't think there was really anyone who he honest to god hated." He paused and thought for a second, "Then again, Wally got really close that one time."

Superboy's eyebrows raised, "You're kidding? The Flash actually irritated him that much?"

"Well it was back when he was _Kid _Flash and he wasn't as 'mature' as he claims to be now." Arsenal snickered, "He would make jokes about how he couldn't really do much without water and about being a 'weaker link'. Plus he walked in on us a few times when he would visit – don't give me that look, Static, I did have a sex life and can talk about it if I want – so it wasn't any surprise that it'd get a little irritating after a while. Most of the time he could deal with it though, after all Kid Flash wasn't really part of our team. There was this one extended visit though…definitely a Kodak moment."

"Well come on, don't leaving us hanging!"

"It was hilarious, especially since he looked so serious through the whole thing. Aqualad picked him up, held him over his head, walked over to one of his pools, and threw him in." Arsenal had to hold back a laugh as the incident replayed in his mind, "Then he just walked back to the couch and what he'd missed on the show we'd been watching." He laughed and a warm feeling spread through his chest.

Maybe he was ready to heal.

- o -

The night air was cool as Arsenal sat outside of East Tower. His legs were crossed under him and his arms rested under him as he looked into the cloudy sky. It was _always _cloudy in Steel City. Those clouds always seemed to make him think of something though. Sometimes he wished he could see the stars, other times he thought it was kind of unfair that Titans West could actually see this sky, then of course he would wonder if there was anybody above them complaining that they couldn't see their loved ones past the clouds.

Then he would realize that sleep would probably be a good idea.

Still, he always wondered.

_Come on, Garth. You would find a way to move the clouds, they _are _made of water after all._

The door opened behind him. "Are you coming in soon, Arsenal?"

Arsenal looked behind him to answer Robin, "In a minute. It's not too cold out so I thought it'd be a good idea to sit outside."

Things were quiet for a minute. Robin shifted from one side to the other, Arsenal just kept looking up. Finally the younger hero moved at sat next to him. He cleared his throat and spoke, "It was actually a lie when we said all of the originals were back in the box." He placed something in the older one's lap.

Arsenal looked down and picked it up, his hands started to shake as he looked at it. It was the picture of him and Garth that he'd always held closest to his heart. The one he had looked at the most, the one that reassured him whenever the Atlantean came into his dreams. It the haphazard-surprise-photo-kiss, framed nicely even if the edges still looked slightly worn. He felt something forming in his throat, it was hard for him to speak. "Thank you…" he finally managed to say quietly. Happy the mask hid how sad his eyes were and how much they burned with tears he wasn't going to shed.

Robin smiled a little at him before he noticed something in the corner of his vision. "Hey, look." He pointed up towards the sky, at a small area where the clouds had pulled away and revealed a sky filled with stars.

Arsenal looked at that one spot and managed to smile himself.

_I love you too, Garth. _

_

* * *

_

FINALLY!

_**falls over and dies**_

Do you know how fucking long it took me to finish this? Don't answer that. I know the ending's schmoopy, but shut up – I AM THE KING AND QUEEN OF CHEESE!

Anyway, I'm sorry this took way too long to come out. I hit some really major Writer's Block a couple of times. First with the beginning (my first draft of it is much stupider than the crap you got here), then when Kory, Roy, and Dick were all sitting in the kitchen, then I said "fuck it" and tried to just go straight to typing but I got stuck with the Jason thing, but then I finally cracked down and wrote the whole rest of the chapter in about three days. There may be a little bit of too much in some areas, but with this story I'm trying to build a bit of a universe to play in (not just me, but I'd like to build some stuff in here before saying it's okay for anyone else to join in).

Expect a sequel guys, seriously. I have some ideas for one, I'm just trying to decide the overall plot to it. I am writing a sort of prequel oneshot thing to use for my hurt/comfort bingo card. But otherwise, Mourning Morning is officially done. I wanna find an art bitch to make me fanart, haha. Kidding…maybe.

This chapter was inspired by the song "Kimi Ga Inai Natsu" or "The Summer You Were Gone" by DEEN. Again, it's a great song – go listen to it.

Many thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, faved, and alerted this story including:

The Eternal Shadows, Ippiki Ookami no Fuyu, QueenofSuperheroes, tehdarkkitten, Fangirl104, Aqualad, whitetiger1337, , meerkat4, and T'Prin.

Cupcakes for all of you, you awesome lovelies!

Thank you for reading and see you soon! _**makes heart sign with hands**_

_Unbetaed because I lack a beta, help please? And it should be automatically assumed that I own nothing.  
_


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